Look, I literally just got off the phone with three of my best friends—we all run wedding planners operations here in different cities—and we were laughing our asses off about how different things are now compared to like, ten years ago. We met at this industry conference way back when we were all kind of fumbling through our first big wedding. Now we’re all running our own gigs and seeing totally different stuff. Last night we were on a group FaceTime for like three hours just venting about what couples want now versus what they wanted before.
Nobody Wants The Big Show Anymore
Okay so here’s the absolute wild thing: those 400-500 person weddings? They’re basically extinct. I’m serious. I haven’t had a single inquiry for something that big in like, two and a half years. And my friends were saying the same thing. This one wedding planner I know—her name’s Rachel, she’s been doing weddings longer than me—she literally turned down a couple who wanted 250 people because she was like “this isn’t what I do anymore.” The couple actually came back to her and was like “yeah we realized we don’t want that either.”
So this couple came to me, Jake and Lisa, and they were pretty clear from the jump: they wanted to have their whole wedding with basically just people they actually talk to. Lisa’s mom wanted like 150 people which was hilarious because Lisa basically told her mom “Mom, I have like 40 people I actually want there.” So that’s what we did. Forty-five people. We rented out this old farmhouse that this lady’s family owns—like outside the city, just these beautiful grounds with trees everywhere. No DJ on a stage. No complicated sound system. Just some music playing through a decent speaker and people actually talking to each other.
They brought in this guy who’s a professional chef who works at some restaurant downtown. He literally cooked the whole meal right there in the kitchen. Like you could smell the food cooking while you were outside. Jake and Lisa just walked around the entire night talking to different people. Like they actually spent time with everyone there. Lisa’s mom told me at the end she was so grateful they didn’t listen to her pushing for more people. She was like “this was actually perfect, I know everyone here, I actually talked to people.”
That’s just what’s happening now everywhere. Couples are figuring out they want to actually enjoy their wedding instead of feeling like they’re working a room. They’re picking spots that are already pretty—old barns, someone’s backyard, vineyards, those kinds of places—so they don’t need to spend a ton of money on decorations because the space is already nice. I just did a wedding literally in someone’s parents’ backyard and it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Like actually beautiful. Not fancy, just genuinely pretty.
The Whole Eco Thing Got Real Real
Here’s something that would’ve made me laugh five years ago: I used to think couples asking about compostable napkins and where flowers came from were like, super annoying and weird. I’d be thinking “lady we’re throwing a party, relax.” But honestly something shifted around like 2024. Now it’s not even like a special request. It’s just what people want.
This bride Sarah came to me and she was intense about everything being sustainable. Like, where did the florist get the flowers from? Were they shipped internationally or grown locally? What happens to the flowers after? Can they actually be composted? What about the caterer—where’s his food coming from? She wanted to know about his relationships with farms, how far the ingredients were traveling, was it actually local or just greenwashing.
Honestly when she first started asking all these questions I was like internally rolling my eyes a bit. But then I realized she genuinely cared about this stuff. It wasn’t performative or trendy for her. She actually didn’t want her wedding to be bad for the environment. So I started doing the work. We found this young woman who literally has a flower farm like forty minutes away. She grows the flowers herself. The caterer knew this vegetable farmer pretty well. Instead of buying new linens we went to estate sales and found these beautiful vintage linens from like the 1970s. The couple rented their tables and chairs instead of buying them new.
That wedding was stunning. And Sarah told me afterward she felt genuinely good about it. Like not just because it looked nice, but because she could feel good about her choices. That’s when I got it. Couples aren’t being difficult. They actually care about this stuff.
Now I see it constantly. Instead of those fancy centerpieces that get thrown away, couples want potted plants they can send home with people. One bride literally brought her mom’s tablecloths from like the 1980s and we used those. The story behind them made the whole thing even cooler. Couples are renting decorations instead of buying new stuff to throw out. One groom asked me if we could source literally everything from within fifty miles of their venue.
The vendors are catching on too. Florists are bragging about their local farmers. Caterers are literally making their farm relationships part of their whole brand now. It’s not this weird niche request anymore—it’s just what people want. Honestly the couples who don’t care about this stuff are becoming the weird ones.
Tech But Like… Normal Tech
Oh my God the weddings from like 2018-2019 with the projection mapping stuff and couples’ faces on every wall? That era is literally gone. I went to this wedding once where they projected the couple’s faces on like five different walls while they were dancing and it was genuinely horrifying. Like I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That doesn’t happen anymore, thank God.
What couples actually want now is just practical stuff. Yeah, stream it so your grandpa in Florida who can’t travel can watch. Yeah do some Instagram stories. Yeah have a nice website where people can see information and leave messages and get excited about it. That makes sense. People want actual practical technology, not weird showing off.
Photography and videography is still where couples spend money. Real money. They want someone who captures actual moments, not posed stuff. Like the bride crying during her vows, the groom’s hands shaking, someone laughing at something weird. That’s what they want to watch in ten years.
I had one couple who literally said they didn’t want a videographer because they wanted to actually be present at their own wedding. Just a photographer. Another couple hired a drone photographer just for some ceremony shots and the aerial photos were just stunning—like magazine quality. It wasn’t about having all the tech. It was about having the tech that mattered to them.
Websites have gotten actually beautiful now. Couples are putting real effort into them instead of just using some generic template thing. I’ve seen couples create these whole scrapbooks of their relationship—photos, videos, little stories about how they met, why they’re excited. People are looking at these before the wedding and actually getting invested in the couple. It’s actually cool.
When Couples Actually Figure Out Who They Are
This is my favorite part honestly. Couples are finally just being like “this is our wedding, we’re literally doing it our way.” They’re not trying to look like every other wedding Pinterest board.
I worked with this couple Diego and Nia who met at a dog rescue volunteering. They’re both obsessed with rescue dogs. So we literally built their entire wedding around dogs. It could’ve been super cheesy but it wasn’t because it was genuinely them. Their ceremony was at a dog-friendly venue. Their dogs actually walked down the aisle with them. Guests got dog treats as favors—these cute little homemade biscuits. It was perfect because it was actually them, not them trying to be trendy.
Another couple Marcus and Zoe met rock climbing. Their whole wedding was at this mountain lodge. The colors were literally just natural stone and wood—nothing fancy, just natural. They served hearty food like you’d eat camping. They had a sunrise ceremony. It sounds kind of cheesy when I’m describing it but when you were actually there it was so beautiful because they weren’t trying to be trendy. They were just being themselves.
The little details are where couples go crazy now. Music playlists where every song actually means something. One bride had her parents write out these little memories and we put them at each table setting—short stories about watching their daughter grow up. People were literally crying into their food. But it wasn’t forced, it was genuine.
I had another couple where all their cocktails had names based on inside jokes. One was called “That Time We Got Lost at Costco” because they’d had this whole adventure there. Another was “His Terrible Jokes” because the groom makes these awful dad jokes. He loved it. That’s the stuff people remember, not generic drink names.
A good wedding planner’s actual job is figuring out who the couple really is and making that shine through. If they’re artistic, the wedding feels artistic. If they’re goofy, the wedding is fun and goofy. If they’re serious and sophisticated, it feels that way. You’re not imposing some look on them—you’re bringing out who they actually are.
Why Wedding Planners Actually Matter These Days
Look I’m not gonna sit here and be like “everyone needs a wedding planner.” Some couples don’t. But honestly most couples I meet with are relieved to have someone on their team who actually knows what they’re doing.
Here’s what a real wedding planner does: we figure out what you actually want versus what you think you’re supposed to want. We connect you with vendors who are actually good. We talk you out of bad ideas. We solve all the million tiny problems that come up right before the wedding.
I worked with this couple who found some aesthetic on Pinterest that looked amazing in the photo. But I knew in person it would just feel cold and weird and not like them. So I steered them gently toward something with similar design elements but that actually felt like them and their vibe. They were so grateful because they ended up with something they loved instead of something that looked cool but felt wrong.
I’ve also talked couples out of bad ideas. One bride wanted this color scheme that was honestly kind of ugly. I didn’t tell her that directly but I showed her other options and explained why they’d photograph better and just feel better in person. She went in a different direction and ended up so happy with it.
Real value: we know vendors. We know which florist actually does good work. Which caterer’s food is actually delicious. Which photographer won’t miss important moments. Which DJ will actually read the room and play what people want to hear instead of what they think is cool. That knowledge is worth something.
And we’re the person who says “yes we can do that” when something feels impossible and then figures out how to actually do it. We’re the person you call when it’s two weeks before the wedding and everything’s going wrong. We’re the person making sure your actual vision becomes real.
Colors And Feeling Right Now
The bright pastels and neon stuff from a few years ago? Over. Done. Nobody’s doing that. What I’m seeing now is richer colors that’ll look good in photos ten years from now. Deep greens, burgundy, warm terracotta, natural neutrals. Colors that feel classic instead of trendy.
Candlelight literally changed everything. I’m serious. Venues that are kind of boring during the day become genuinely magical with candlelight. String lights, candles, fire pits, those tall candelabras. Couples are creating actual mood and atmosphere instead of relying on bright lighting. And it photographs beautifully—like actually beautiful.
The flowers have totally shifted. Those overly perfect structured arrangements? Gone. Now it’s wildflowers mixed with garden flowers, stuff that looks like someone just grabbed pretty things from a garden that morning. It’s fresher, cheaper, and honestly looks better. One florist told me those loose organic arrangements actually take her less time so she charges less for them, and clients are way happier with them.
Couples aren’t trying to coordinate everything into a perfect color rainbow anymore. If the venue is pretty on its own, they just leave it alone. Little candlelight, some flowers, maybe some linen somewhere. That’s it. Focus is on the space and the people, not on decorations fighting for attention.
Food Actually Became A Thing People Care About
Okay so here’s wild: fifteen years ago nobody cared about food at weddings. You got your chicken or fish, you ate it, nobody remembered it. Now? Food is like part of the whole experience. It’s actually important.
Couples are meeting with actual chefs now, not just calling catering companies. They’re doing tastings. They’re being really specific about what matters. I had one couple bring their entire family to the tasting because incorporating family recipes was that important. The groom’s grandmother’s soup. The bride’s mom’s samosas. Family dishes that mattered to them.
Farm-to-table stopped being trendy and is just like… normal. I’d say eighty percent of couples I’m working with are sourcing at least some of their food locally. There’s this farm like two hours away that I keep recommending and honestly the farmer is basically part of the wedding community at this point. She works with couples on menus, sources vegetables, delivers everything. Couples love knowing there’s a real person with a real story behind their food.
I’ve seen family recipes printed on the menu so people know what they’re eating and the story behind it. “Grandmother’s Chile Verde” or whatever. It makes the meal meaningful instead of just food showing up on a plate.
The cocktail hour became like this whole event now. Not just standing around with drinks. Real good appetizers. Interactive food stations where people watch something being cooked. Popsicle carts in summer. It’s an experience.
Even dessert got personal. Nobody does the fancy cake from a wedding cake company anymore. One couple did a build-your-own candy bar because they’re obsessed with candy. Another couple did like six different desserts—pies, cookies, brownies, little cakes—all things they actually loved. Same price basically but feels so much more like them.
Destination Weddings And What’s Happening With Wedding Planners in Goa
Destination weddings used to be only for rich people. Now regular couples are doing them constantly and it’s become this whole thing. And Goa has literally become a hub for it. Not just those big resort chains either—there are incredible boutique properties, gorgeous villas, historic estates.
What’s wild is destination weddings naturally force the intimacy thing. You can’t invite three hundred people and expect them to fly to Goa with you. So it becomes smaller, more intentional automatically. The couples who understand this and build their weddings around it—those are the ones doing it right.
I know this wedding planner in Goa who’s incredible. She finds these hidden properties, coordinates with local vendors, builds experiences that feel integrated into the location instead of just plopped down there. Her couples have amazing weddings because she’s not fighting the location—she’s celebrating it. She’s not pushing some generic resort package. She’s finding unique spots and building something special for each couple.
That’s what’s actually winning right now. Wedding planners in Goa who understand the intimacy trend, who work with local vendors, who actually respect the community—those wedding planners in Goa are booked solid. Couples are looking for someone who genuinely gets it, who won’t just give them some generic destination wedding experience like everyone else.
The sustainability thing is huge for destination weddings too. Fewer people flying in means way fewer carbon footprint concerns. Couples want local food, local flowers, local artisans doing the actual work. It benefits the community and feels authentic. The wedding planners in Goa who are actually committed to that approach are booked like six months out because literally everyone wants to work with them.
What’s Going On
So what I’m seeing is couples are just done. Done trying to impress people. Done with what a wedding is “supposed” to look like. They want something that feels like them. That actually honors their values. That’s about celebrating with the people they love.
This is a huge shift from even five years ago. Back then couples were still thinking about what their families would expect. Now they’re like “this is our day, we’re doing it our way.” That’s the actual energy now.
The wedding planner role changed too. You can’t just be someone with a clipboard anymore. You need to understand design, know how to guide people toward their actual vision, educate them about options, manage logistics without losing sight of what matters, solve problems on the fly. It’s harder work honestly but way more rewarding.
If you’re getting married right now: figure out what actually matters to you. Not what you think should matter. What you actually care about. Find wedding planners who get that. Spend your money on the things that matter to you. Make it about you and your person and the people you love. Skip everything else.
And if you’re on the fence about hiring a wedding planner? Just do it. Not because you need someone telling you what to do. Because you need someone who can take your messy ideas and turn them into actual reality. Someone who knows which vendors are actually good. Someone who will fight for you when things get complicated. Someone who makes sure your day actually becomes what you want it to be. That’s what we do. And you’ll sleep way better.